Hello to all of my beautiful followers that loves to read my crazy blog :). I’ve missed you all.
These last couple of months have been crazy for me. I am back in school but I have reached a point in my life where I am questioning what I want to do and I literally have no idea what I want to do at all. You’d think that after me having a total of 11 jobs (and NO! I’ve never been fired!) in my 20 years of life that I would be sure of what I want to do as a career, but it probably made it a little harder.
I noticed that I get bored of things very easily and I switch what I want to do with my life way too much. This not only frustrates me, but also the people I surround myself with. A wise lady told me that I only have this problem because I am naturally gifted at so many different things so this phase in my life is normal, but I want money now so that means I need to figure life out quick.
I always wonder how someone chooses what they want to do in life when there are so many possibilities to pick from? One thing I do know for sure though is that engineering can kiss my butt. If I look at one more math problem I may go a little crazy and no one wants that! Math has become so boring to me, like it’s just numbers. I need some more excitement than that, I’m too outgoing and ADD to be looking at numbers all day and that’s the end of that.
The problem with this is that if I switch my major I will be stuck in school some more years, and quite frankly, I’m tired of school. Like I’ve said a million times before, school is a jugg. It just gives you a piece of paper that states that your finally qualified for a top notch job that you’ve paid $100,000 to receive (which you most likely have to pay back, smh) and I promise you will not remember half of what they taught you unless you were completely interested in what you were learning. I don’t even remember half the stuff I learned once the test is over, even if I get a 100% on a test, I only learned the info for that specific purpose to only discard it once I’ve used it to get a good grade in class. College is a big business and businesses take money from and capitalize on their clients. Sadly until I figure everything out I will continue to be an aware client. Besides, even if I have a problem with how the system works shit won’t change so what can I do about it? Besides try to defy the system with whoever is down to do it with me.
So back to what I was saying.. I need to figure out what life has in store if I’m feeling this way, and when I do, I’ll be sure to let you know! My patience is just wearing thin and I’m ready to be doing something with my life and making big moves. So, now that I’m done ranting, am I the only one feeling like this or am I not alone? I honestly don’t know why I’m feeling rushed to be successful at something but it feels like there is a clock tick-tock-ing in my head telling me that time is almost up.
I am done talking for now, and until I figure this thing called life out, I will be grinding!!
P.S. RIP to my recently late grandmother Julia Cunningham. She was lovely and always opened her doors to me in my time of need. I don’t want to go too deep because I don’t want to get emotional, but just know that her death definitely did something to me and I just don’t feel the same. Her being gone now means I am a woman because she has now set me free to put all my life lessons into action. There are no more safety nets left for me. Life truly begins at the end of your comfort zone, and that’s real.