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Relationships can be one of your greatest obstacles when it comes to your future


Today, I decided to take a break from my busy life long enough to address the issue of relationships effect on a person’s success. As a 22 year-old female, I cannot say that I have never fallen in love, because I have and I let that feeling of love control me in ways that I regret today.

As a woman pursuing greater things in life, that relationship became toxic in regards to my family, friendships, school career, work life and my sanity. It was very hard for me to let go of something that I knew was not good for me, on top of watching everything good deteriorate right in front of my eyes, because of one person in my life who I believed I loved. On top of all of this, I was only 19 years-old.

My intuition told me to let go, but my heart told me to stay in this whirlwind bittersweet, miserable relationship. One day, I woke up and decided that I would do it no more. The fact that my whole mood of the day could be determined off the way he treated me was too much for me and I gave him too much power over me. The fact that I would not complete my homework assignments and not go to class because he started arguments with me before I left out of the door was getting old.

I decided to put myself and my future over love at that point in my life. At the time, we were living together when he kicked me out of his house (for show) but really did not want me to go anywhere, but instead of moving back with him, I packed my car up, stayed with a girlfriend for two weeks, and that same girlfriend helped me find an apartment which I moved into right away. That was my first step towards regaining my sanity.

My second step to regaining my sanity was repairing my relationships with my friends and family. Because I was so far gone into the relationship, I was ignoring all things people had to say when it came to my relationship and that damaged a lot of things. I also would become angry and defensive when they would give me advice and tell me to leave him. I almost lost all of my true friends because of the way I was behaving, but they stuck with me and are still with me today.

The last thing I did was decide that I no longer will let any relationship come in the way of my future. I almost could not come back to college the year after I left him because of all the poor decisions I made while with him. My complete focus was on my relationship and I invested everything into my relationship. I had to pull myself together, and because of God, received $20,000 in scholarships to go back to school and I did not take that for granted. I’ve been going hard ever since with nothing but A’s and B’s being made.

My telling of my life story isn’t to vent to the web, but instead, it is meant to help those that are reading and are going through a similar situation. It makes me so sad when I see my own friends going through what I went through, and watching them go through even more than I did, because they do not put themselves first and do not decide to leave their significant other. They usually say “it is easier said than done” and I remember saying that too, but if it is getting to the point where your life is moving out of your control and you and your other-half are seconds away from strangling each other, then you need to move on and focus on your life.

You can listen to this advice or not, but remember that I went through a similar situation, and I was able to remove myself from it. Now look at me, almost done with college and able to support myself without a man’s help.

PUT YOURSELF FIRST and if you believe in GOD, PRAY ON IT!!!!

I am a Savannah State University grad with a bachelors in Public Relations and Advertising with a minor in Entrepreneurship. I was born in New Orleans, LA, but raised in Washington, DC, where my family are natives. Since the age of 14, I am able to say that I have worked at over 12 different companies, which led me to knowing that I am good with working with people and in communications. I love writing (when I have the time) and run two businesses on top of a full-time career in public relations. When I have free time, you can find me plotting on my next business ventures, visiting different hole-in-the-wall restaurants, spending time with family and friends, or catching up on my favorite television shows that I rarely have time to watch. Follow me on Instagram & Twitter: @queenshalaya

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